How many of you would like to hear from Himself today?  I thought it would be fun but he is reluctant.  Actually, he is a very good writer.  He says he needs a topic.  Any suggestions?  I'll go take a shower and hope there is one or two when I get back.  g

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope not.  After a week of calm and decluttering, I hope I can maintain what I have achieved and continue even further.  This is not usually a house of calm and tidiness.  From what I gather, especially from Flylady, clutter is a symptom of a greater issue. 

 

For me that issue is a feeling of not being able to control my surroundings.  I have finally realized that, no, I can not control the actions of the people around me.  However, I can control my own behaviors.  When I change my behavior, those around me often change theirs as well. 

 

Case in point:  I was shopping in my local grocery store and I stopped to ask an employee where something was.  He continued what he was doing and then asked, "What?" in not the nicest tone of voice.  I gave him one of Aimee's patented big smiles and he couldn't do enough for me.  When he couldn't find the item I was asking for, he suggested another place it might be in the store (it is a very big place).  I smiled again and thanked him and was on my way.  Several aisles down, he caught up with me and told me exactly where to find the item! 

 

Same thing happened in another aisle with another employee.  I suppose they get so many complaints that a smile and a kind word makes their day!

 

What I am getting at here is that if you wait for others to change you will wait forever.  Changing your own attitude will either help them to change OR make it a heck of a lot easier for you to cope!

 

I'm not saying this is an easy thing to do.  I've been working at it for years!  However, with the right attitude, life is so much simpler.  With God's grace, the process will continue.

 

When you are stressed out, what do you tend to do to cope?  Is it a healthy or not?  I tend to isolate.  It is only unhealthy if I stay that way, wallow in self-pity and don't communicate.

 

Do you have one person in particular you talk to when you are stressed?  First, the most important person for me to chat with is God.  He is so real that He is approachable and loves me more than anyone in this world can.  Then, depending on the situation, I have several people I can contact.  If I know I am overreacting, I call L who is very laid back.  For other situations, there are other people.  I am so blessed!

 

Are you an anxiety eater?  Oh, yea. 

 

Who can make you crazier than anyone else?  Himself, of course!  Why do you think I need to change my attitude?!

 

Just for fun:  When is purple appropriate?  Just about any time!  Same with zebra print!

 

What's up for the weekend?  I'm not really sure here.  The weather is beautiful so there are lots of options.

 

be blessed, g

 

 

 

 

 

From the learning rooms...Isabella has adjusted to daycare/nursery school better than anticipated.  My little hurricane has won the hearts of the staff and this is a blessing and a relief to us.

I am thankful for...this quiet week I am having since Himself is reuniting with his Navy buddies in another state.  They spent months aboard ship in Viet Nam together and have a connection like no other.

From the kitchen...a clean stove that was soaked and scrubbed and has barely been used in several days!  Still, we have a bounty in the house available to us and I am truly thankful.

I am wearing...Seattle Seahawks sweatshirt, jeans and running shoes.

I am reading...another murder mystery and my Bible.

I am hoping...to finish going through Himself's bags and bags of cell phone bags with mostly no phones and see what is salvagable and get rid of the rest (I get a lot done when he is away...).

I am creating...a peaceful setting in the bedroom by getting rid of all the clutter.

I am hearing...Isabella play with her balloon from my niece's shower yesterday...we were so happy to have something to occupy her!

Around the house...a dent made in the clearing of clutter (see a theme here?).

One of my favorite things...quiet and solitude being available to me on a regular basis.  Though I love my family and friends, I cherish my time alone.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...to get as much done around here as possible before Himself gets home and to finally start the tape series I need to listen to and work through to help me grow in Christ.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

How fast they grow.

 

Yes, you read it right.  Himself is out of town at a reunion of some of the USS Princeton sailors he served with in Viet Nam.  When he graduated from high school, his parents gave him the choice of college or the service.  Fed up with school, he joined the Navy having never really noticed a "conflict" going on in a country called Viet Nam.  He has never regretted it though he still has dreams occasionally about being there.  There is no PTSD but he did see some terrible things.

 

The Boy and I have been living in peaceful co-existence since Friday.  It is so good for us to have this time together even if we are on different schedules.  He has matured so much since he started school and working.  It's good to be proud of him again.

 

Well, the coffee is fresh and hot at Greatgrandma's house and she needs a dose of Isabella.  I hope and pray that your week goes well.  Let me know if you have any prayer requests and I will be happy to bring them before the throne of grace.  g

 

 

 

 Can anyone recommend a decaf tea that doesn't taste like cardboard.  Bromley is the best so far.  Lipton is the worst.  Not herbal - ew.  Thanks!

 

Hallelujah!  I've got some things to do before posting the questions so bear with me.  I'm trying to come up with a name for our Friday meme.  Friday's Feast is already taken.  Have any suggestions?

 

This has been a long, long week around here.  The stomach ailment took days to go away and our sinuses are giving us a hard time with atumn allergies.  Overall, though, I am thankful for our health.

 

Be blessed, g

 

 

 

...stomach ache....will try to stop by later. g

 

 

I'll make them up unless I am too distracted:

 

If you are old enough to remember, where were you when JFK was shot?  If not old enough, make up a story.  I was in my first grade classroom and BC, a classmate, was crying about how her mother had voted for him.  I wasn't old enough to appreciate the significance of it but I knew something significant had happened.

 

Once again, if you are old enough, where were you when man first walked on the moon?  Once again, make something up if you don't remember.  Lying down on a sofa in my parents' living room (I was 12).  I could barely keep my eyes open when it happened and it wasn't even 10:30 at night.  Who would have known I would turn into a night owl?  Himself was in a bar.  Shows the age difference, eh?

 

 

Other than people or pets, what do you think you would grab if youhad the frame of mind and your house was on fire?  The only thing not replaceable would be photos.  However, if they burned, I believe I would try to get over it.  After all, everything is going to burn some day. 

 

What are you up to this weekend?  Haven't a clue other than sleeping in.

 

Have a great one, g

 

 

 

Fifty-seven years ago they met.  He was nineteen and she was fourteen (she looked much older).  Shortly thereafter, they fell in love. 

 

After two years, they couldn't wait any longer to marry and eloped, his mother secretly serving as their witness.  Their first try, they went to a place that had no waiting period.  It was the only day of the year the town closed down for local holiday!  The second time was the charm.

 

They lived apart keeping their marriage secret until she was expecting their first child.  Her father told her husband that if they were in "his country," he would kill him.  Her mother insisted on a church wedding.  However, September 24th would and will always be their anniversary.

 

Times were tough but they both  worked hard.  Very hard.  They achieved the dream of home ownership and welcomed many to their door.  They practiced random acts of kindness and took care of their aged mothers until they passed.

 

Fifty-five years, four children and six grandchildren later, they still enjoy each others' company more than that of any other's.  It wasn't always that way.  Sometimes they didn't get along but it always passed. They had their valleys as we all do in marriage.  Rebellious children and heartache visited them as well.  Their children continue to come home, though.....and, when they do, there is laughter - lots of it!

 

 

Sorry that this is late, Mom and Dad, but the happiest of anniversaries to you!  Although I haven't always showed it, I love you both and cherish our time together.  Sorry for all the rough times I have given you.  Honestly.  g

 

 

I turned my back.  Yes.  All I did was turn my back and Isabella disappeared.  We were visiting my in-laws in their home and when I turned around she wasn't in sight.  I looked through the rooms quickly then looked at the front door which was closed.  Uh,oh.  It had been left open to let the breeze from the storm door screens come in.  I looked out the storm door and there she was running down the street to the park.  's?  No, thanks be to Him.  Strangers?  No.  Just a toddler running to the slides and swings.

 

Well, it is a good thing I had my running shoes on.  She fell down in some tall weeds before making it to the playground equipment and I pulled her out from the other side of the patch of them.  Truth be told I don't do much spanking but she felt my hand on her amply padded tuckus (Yiddish wordk for bum).  I was literally shaking by the time we got back to her great-grandparents house.  I am not much of a crier but my eyes were filled with tears.  How could this happen on my watch?

 

Now, to be perfectly honest with you, the in-laws live three houses in from the park which is on a dead end street.  However, I have headed Bells off in the past when she's run off and a car was passing by. 

 

Isabella has her limitations because of her delayed speech and her seemingly unending energy.  However, her closing the front door was evidence that she knew she was doing something wrong.  At least, that's how I see it.

 

I felt at least ten years younger when I woke up this morning.

 

On Saturday, I had a wonderful phone conversation with the Hipster of all Hipsters, Lori "Lams" herself.  As if having that conversation was not enough to be excited about, we finalized the sale of several pieces of her artwork to me!  Here they are:

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Lori's work is, well, wonderful!  Some pieces are whimsical, others can be heavy and, well, you will see a veritable potpourri of "from the heart" works.  Please visit and you won't regret it!

 

How about some questions?

 

What colors are you drawn to for dressing, decorating, etc.?  For dressing, I look best in jewel tones, purple, red, teal, etc.  I really favor the lavender/violet family.  For decorating, warm colors:  clay, a green I can't describe except to say it shows varying shades in different lights and a splash of amethyst.  In nature, I love, love, love green!  As I've said before, the color of life.

 

Do you have favorite artists?  Well, Lams, of course!  I feel that the third piece of art is reminiscent of Van Gogh and Monet whom I like very much.  Some of Georgia O'Keefe's works knock my socks off, too!  I have an art poster of hers, Black and Purple Petunias, that I had mounted and framed years ago and never tire of looking at it.  I'll leave it at these four artists as I appreciate so many.

 

Have you ever had fun using "different" color/colors in your hair?  I loved having cray*ola red highlights in my hair!  I also like a burgundy base.

 

I hope you have a great week.  Try not to take yourself too seriously, okay? Have some fun! 

 

blessings, g

 

 

"Unforgiveness is the poison we drink hoping others will die."

 

Forgiveness is something that was, and sometimes still is, a problem for me.  The above quote says it all.  When I refuse to forgive it doesn't bother the person who has offended me.  It hurts me.  Here are some thoughts and insight on forgiveness:

 

What forgiveness is not:

- It is not a feeling.  It is a conscious decision.  Even if you don't feel like forgiving, if you act the forgiveness the feeling will eventually catch up with the action.

- It is not forgetting.  We aren't made that way.  We have memories but we need to make thinking about offenses less prominent in our thoughts.

- It is not excusing.  "Forgiveness is the opposite of excusing."  Ken Sande

 

Forgiveness is a decision to make four promises:

- I will not think about this incident.

- I will not bring it up against you.

- I will not talk to others about this.

- I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.

 

These thoughts and more were taught from my pastor's pulpit yesterday and are based on teachings from the book The Peace Maker by Ken Sande.  If it has caught your interest, I will talk more about peace making and forgiveness.  Let me know, or, as Pastor D would say, "Lemme know."

 

I can't believe I have been seeing leaves changing color already!  A fact I mentioned a couple of years ago is that, when leaves change color, they are showing their true colors!  The green masks their colorful beauty (although the green is beautiful in and of itself).

 

What are some of your favorite things about autumn?  (I know some of you don't have seasons like I do but use your imagination!):  I love the beautiful colors of the leaves and the smells of autumn.  Fireplaces and woodburning stoves sending out their delightful fragrance is one of those smells.

 

Does autumn make you sad because of the end of summer and the leaves coming down or happy?  I love autumn.  I don't like it when the trees are bare and I don't like the shorter daylight hours but I am happy when the heat of summer is gone and I am in awe of the beauty all around me.

 

Do you get SAD (seasonal affective disorder) from the shorter daylight hours?  Last winter was the first time I think I dealt with this. 

 

Talk to me.  Have a great week, g

 

 

 

 

 

 

 http://flashtrafficblog.wordpress.com/

 

  Oh, excuse the yawn, please.  We have a new routine here:

Monday:  watch Bells from 6:00 AM to about 6:45 PM (or so)

Tuesday:  watch Bells from 6:00 AM until one of us brings her to daycare (around 7:30) then pick her up usually before 5:00 pm

Wednesday:  watch Bells from 11:00 AM until 6:45 PM

Thursday and Friday:  same schedule as Tuesday

 

The Girl has a new job - one that I warned her not to take - and her hours are ridiculous.  As she is trying to make it on her own with Isabella, she took the job that pays the most. 

 

Two days a week was fine for me to be with my little pumpkin.  These early hours and late pick ups, well, it is rough.  As anyone who has been around here for a while will tell you, I am a night owl.   Love, love, love to stay up late.  Drinking  gets me sick if it has caffeine in it.  Trying to go to bed earlier, well, I am trying.

 

Saturday, I woke up late, stayed up a couple of hours, went back to bed, stayed up for the evening and then slept all night.  Ugh!  Not very productive except to catch up on lost z's.  However, the new schedule had me exhausted.

 

The original plan included participation in dropping off and picking up by others but that fell through.  My sister says that family comes first and I have to bite the bullet.  Others tell me not to be used and say no.

 

Know what?  I am going to pray for the strength and the wisdom to deal with this situation.  Self-pity is not attractive and I feel myself falling into the trap of it.  Poor me!  Nope.  Won't go there if I can help it.  And I can help it with His help.

 

On a lighter note, The Boy started college today!  My baby.....hooray!  He is commuting by bus to a nearby city to attend county college.  When I think about it, it blows my mind!  Let us hope and pray he doesn't feel overwhelmed and that he will meet good people to hang out with.  I'm not too thrilled with his current crop of friends.

 

Oh, and I neglected to mention that he is supposed to start a new job this week - it keeps on getting better and better.  I am guardedly optimistic.

 

How about some questions?

 

Are you able to confront people who have wronged you or who have done something wrong?  I used to have a big problem with this.  Now, however difficult it is, I try to find the most gentle, loving way to deal with the situation.  If anyone is interested, I have sermon notes on the right way to confront someone.

 

What is the cheapest you can remember movie tickets being?  Oy, my age is showing:  35 cents!  My sister and I would go nearly every Saturday until they started showing regular, grown up films during the matinee hours.  My first movie alone with my sister was Pinocchio.  I can still remember where we were sitting in the movie house.

 

Your favorite author has a new book out.  Do you buy it or get on the library waiting list?  Library.  The librarians know me by name and I know their names as well.  It is one of my favorite places to be.  Without reading, my life wouldn't be complete.  My life as it is now at least.  Besides, have you seen the price of books lately?

 

What's up for the week?  I already showed you my schedule!  Be blessed, gail

 

 

This week, I've been reviewing my archives.  Boy, have I gotten lazy!  I used to write about things of substance on a regular basis but now depend on meme's.  I know how much most of you like the "feasts" and what not and I would like to continue with them.

 

Used to be that I wouldn't post unless I had something to say.  I'm still in the "figuring out" stage of where I am going to go with this.  I so enjoy keeping up with all of you and realize that you feel the same about me or you wouldn't stick around.

 

Let's have a blog meme:

 

Why do you blog?  Well, it started out as an experiment.  I wanted to start writing again and I had been visiting msn spaces so I signed up.  Now, besides writing, I blog to keep up with the wonderful people I have met here!  If I am not able to be online for a while I think of all of you and hope that all is well.  I even pray for you!

 

Have you ever met a fellow blogger?  Yes, LollieMouse, Laurie.  Himself and I were in Massachusetts for a wedding and Lols drove 90 minutes to have breakfast with Himself and me before the wedding.  It was a wonderful experience and she has visited me as well.

 

Will you be blogging about the presidential race?  Absolutely not.  There is so much I could say - and want to say! - but I want this to be a friendly place and I don't think political speak is a safe subject. 

How long have you been blogging?  I had my two year anniversary this past June. 

 

What attracts you  most to a blog site?  That's a tough one.  Common interests come to mind.  Humor at times.  There are so many different personalities and styles and I find that I have become cyber friends with people I might not have ever gotten to know in the real world because we cruise in different directions.  My buddy out in Washington state is so very different from me but was there for me when my family went through a crisis last year.  A smiling new mom in Canada who kept me breathless and at the edge of my seat waiting for the news of her healthy, new son's birth.  A mum and a musician in Malaysia who I feel closer to than some people around here and that goes for a gram in England as well.

 

Blogging has become so much a part of my life that it is inseparable from my day to day existence.  Actually, it is a wonderful part of it!  I do not feel addicted as I am not tied to my pc. 

 

I am blessed indeed.  g

 

 

When my friend, N, started to lose her hair during chemotherapy, her husband suggested to me that the ladies of our church cell group might want to shave their heads in unity with her.  Remembering how another friend who had lost her hair to chemo would have been angry if we had done that I told him I didn't think it was a good idea.  Plus, I didn't want to!

 

Fast forward a number of months and I told N about the conversation and she said she wouldn't have minded if we had.  What?!?  The sweetest, nicest person in the world would have wanted us to shave our heads and  suffer alongside her whilst it grew in? I was shocked!

 

Fast forward a few more months when N had finally grown some peach fuzz on that bald head.  I thought about it and thought about it and I told her I would cut the back of my hair to about a half inch on the lower half and keep it that length until hers was the same length and we would grow our hair out together.  (Bet you thought I was going to say I would shave my head.  I'm a good friend but I told her that, unless it would make her recovery complete, I would not shave my head!)

 

So, I go to my friend, M, and get my hair cropped up in the back as well as shortening my signature bob a bit.  I loved it!  It was what I had been wanting for for a while now and finally got it.

 

A day or two later I go to N's house and show her what I did for her (cough, cough).  She said it wasn't short enough.   That ungrateful brat!  Even though part of it was as short as I said it would be I have to be honest and say that the whole idea was to be on a par - although on a smaller scale - with N's hair growth.

 

Well, yesterday, I picked N up and we went to see M and have my hair shorn some more.  There was no way I would go without her in case she was going to continue being a brat!  I had to have a witness.  N is almost completely pleased.  She would have liked a bit more taken off but M said that taking off any more would "destroy the integrity of the style."  Bless you M!

 

Moral of this story:  choose one

a)  hair grows

b)  even the nicest, sweetest people in the world can be brats

c)  love can make you do strange things

d) all of the above

 

Pictures, hopefully, to follow.  blessings, g

 

 

 

...enough with the heavy subjects.  Let's play courtesy of

How many books do you have going at one time? 

Other than my Bible (which I try to make daily reading), I like to read one book at a time.

What is your favorite genre of books? 

(Is it adventure, biography, history, mystery, romance or another?)

Medical and legal mysteries.  Occasionally, a bit of fluff.

Do you consider books a scholarly pursuit or a guilty pleasure?  Unless you are reading offensive material, how can the pleasure of reading be guilty?  As Mom pointed out to me once, even fiction writing has to be well researched.  I have learned so much from authors like Kathy*Reichs.  Definately a scholarly pleasure!

Have you ever written a book?  Tried to when I was about eleven or twelve but didn't get past the first page.

If you could write a book, what would it be about?  I'll leave it to the pros.  I don't want to write a book.  Oh, I take that back.  I would like to write a cookbook.  My father and I can make an evening's reading of a cookbook.

Let's hear about your reading habits.  I will find it very interesting I am sure.

blessings, g

 

I wanted to read what was going on a  year ago so I  looked at my archives and and decided to update The Boy's "recovery" from alcohol addiction.

 

 

People around here are convinced he is not an alcoholic.  I don't know for sure.  However, I just found out that he has been doing community service at a soup kitchen because he and his friends were caught "loitering" in a vacant lot.  Oh, and they were drinking.    This was kept from me for "my protection."  I thought that once I was 21 I was considered an adult.  Actually, eighteen!

 

Anway, is The Boy and alcoholic?  Darned if I know.  I keep hearing that everyone his age overdoes it  and that I led a sheltered exisitence.  Hmm...the drinking age was eighteen when I was in college.  Back then, I enjoyed a brewski or a glass of wine at the campus pub.  Did I drink to get drunk?  No.  Lit?  Sometimes.  Was drinking a form of recreation to me?  Nope.  Did I ever abuse someone because of alcohol induced behavior?  Not that I can think of.  Court ordered community service?  Negatory.

 

Hmm...does The Boy have a problem with alcohol?  Yes, I believe so.  Alcoholism?  Who knows.  A friend who had worked with alcoholics once told me that ten high school friends can drink to excess and twenty years later two will be addicted to liquor.  Will he be one of the two?  Odds are that, with our family history, he just might be.  I pray not.

 

Today, I am looking forward to a nice lunch with a friend I haven't visited with in a while.  The thunder-boomers have stopped and the sun has crept out - for now.  I'd really enjoy a gray, rainy day about now.  Whatever.

 

Sorry if I am rambling.  Another hour of sleep would have done me a lot of good today but I had an early PT appt.  It's going well.

 

Let's jump start the week with a few questions from Manic Monday (I haven't liked the last few weeks' questions but I like these)?

How would your friend describe you to someone who has never seen you?  Vertically challenged, darkish hair and the one with the loudest laugh in the room!

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?  Remember the first Superman movie where this dialogue or something like it took place: 

Lois Lane falls out of the helicopter and is falling down in mid-air from the top of the Daily Planet building and Superman scoops her up.

Superman:  Don't worry.  I've got you.

Lois Lane:  But who's got you?

That's the way I feel about trusting any person to protect me.  However, I do trust God to protect me.  He is my "shield and defender."

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?  Many, many people.  The point of It's a Wonderful Life is very true.  Our lives are intertwined with so many others'.  I have actually thought about this and feel blessed and quite responsible at the same time.  Ever hear of the domino effect?  That's our lives. 

Here's hoping your week goes well and that you do something for yourself sometimes.  Heck, if you don't , maybe no one else will!  blessings, g

 

 

I returned to the previous post hours after writing it to delete it. However, I found such supportive, loving comments that I just couldn't.  I feel so blessed and am very thankful to each of you who reached out.  Bless you.

 

I am going to ask  my own questions today.  My creativity has not be kindled enough for a long time and the meme's I have seen on line either don't interest me or would take too much brain power.  Therefore, you will have to deal with the inner workings of g's mind.  Here goes:

 

1 - Are you able to be around friends who are deathly ill?  Obviously, my answer to that one is yes.  I understand where others have a problem with it but I feel blessed to be able to be a part of my friend's transition into eternity and to be of support to their family.  Although physical death was not a part of God's original plan for us, we all exit this world eventually.  What an honor to be able to spend time with those who have confidence in the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ as they prepare to join Him.  I have never had to deal with the passing of someone without faith and dread it.

 

2 - Does thinking of your own death frighten you?  No.  I look forward to eternity.  However, if at all possible I would prefer it to be a gentle passing.

 

3 - What song always makes you want to dance?  Fooled you, didn't I!  Thought I was going to stick with death questions, didn't you?!?  Bob Seger's Old Time Rock and Roll does it for me.  I love it when it is played at a wedding and my cousins and I dance to it and sing along at the top of our lungs.  We also sing to Meatloaf's Paradise By the Dashboard Light and the guys sing the guy part and the gals sing the gal part. 

 

4 - If you were told that you could magically stay the same weight you are now for the rest of your life, never gaining or losing another pound ever again no matter what you ate, would you?  Ahh...when I was younger I used to ponder this question and usually said no to myself because I wanted to lose more weight.  Now, still needing to lose another twenty pounds I would say a resounding YES!  I figure I would still be able to get in shape.  Since muscle weighs more than fat...  I do believe I would bargain for a good cholesterol level, though!

 

5 - Rice or potatoes?  Rice, rice and more rice.  Brown basmati, preferably, although I love white rice.

 

That wasn't so bad, right?  Might have started out bleak for you but, hopefully, you had some fun with the last couple.

 

Any plans for the weekend?  blessings, g

 

 

 

Today, actually yesterday, as it is now after midnight, was a strange one.  I do not do well with change but change is in the air.

 

Isabella, once again, put The Girl's cell phone in the toilet destroying it.  As The Girl is in the process of job searching this was not good timing so I made my daughter promise to keep my phone in a safe place and let her use it.  Turns out that my being without cell phone was a good thing.  More on that later.

 

I arrived at my friend's hospice room at an inner city hospital around 12:45 PM and was there until around 6:30 PM.  This gave her husband a chance to go home and shower and tinker around the house knowing that their 27 year old daughter, who is now old enough to be my friend as well, would have company in his absence as she stood vigil at her mom's bedside.  My friend, L., recognized me before she was pain medicated so much that she fell into a deep sleep.

 

Spending time in this way is not terribly difficult for me.  I have no idea why this is true but it is.  I am blessed by being allowed by the family to be there.  Death does not frighten me.  Life lived foolishly does, though.

 

When I finally got home, I had about forty minutes before I was expected at a meeting.  Walking in the door I was greeted by my daughter who was in hysterics because Isabella's father had, well, let's just say he helped her to get into hysterics and she is moving back in with us until she can get back on her feet.

 

Jumping back to paragraph one of this entry, I don't deal well with change.  As dysfunctional as my home is, there is still a rhythm to the madness.  Having my grown daughter and hyper granddaughter move into my humble abode is already disrupting the rhythm.  (As much as I love them both, distance does make the heart grow fonder.)

 

As mentioned in paragraph II, being without my cell phone kept me from having to deal with the soap opera that was being played out here between my daughter, Bells' father, Himself and The Boy.  Thank God!

 

By the time I went to my meeting, which is a women's group from church which is beyond supportive - a very safe place to be, I was ready for some peace.  Nope.  This meeting was one where people who were hurting were ministered to.  Although we have a written agenda, we go as the Spirit leads and anyone who needs prayer is prayed with immediately.  Out of our two hours together at least three quarters was spent that way.

 

Do you know that being in that hospital room made more sense to me than being at home or at that meeting?  The pain expressed and ministered to at the meeting made me cry as I haven't cried for L. or for my family.  Coming home was so very difficult and all I wanted to do was go to bed and be left alone.  However, sleep eludes me and here I sit trying to work out the strangeness and the emotions of this strange day. 

 

Pain is a part of life.  Seeing a loved one dying is part of the circle of life. 

 

Watching the foolishness of two intelligent young people who have made stupid decisions trying to make things change by making the same stupid decisions over and over again is a waste. 

 

Being in a meeting with hurting people helping one another in love is unusual and cathartic.  It brought to the surface my frustrations and hurts and questions I had/have for God.  Being loved and cared for by women who love me, warts and all, is life transforming.

 

Ya'll don't really know me well.  I work hard at filtering my words and reactions both here and in person but real life doesn't have a delete key!  Suffering from "foot in mouth" disease has been a problem all my life even though it has gotten better as I have grown in faith.  Still, these women accept me as I am and cheer me on in all I do, well, it doesn't get much better this side of glory.  I wish for all of you to have this kind of acceptance and love.

 

Phew!  Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.  If you feel like praying I sure wouldn't mind a few words sent heavenward for me and mine and for L. and her family.

 

bless you all, gail